Seven and No Itching

It’s been seven years since we tied the knot. Seven years since I put on that white dress. Seven years that feel short and long.

We moved to Texas. We moved back.

Jud did grad school. I made some bucks and really great friends.

We had a baby and then another one. We bought a house and a car and now we need to buy another one. We painted. We got a new deck.

We visited friends and friends came to visit. We ate some awesome food in pretty places.

We haven’t kept score. We can sort through whatever is going on from the same bench. We’ve walked through hard days and swam through happy waters.

We are happy and healthy and grateful.

Sacred v Secular

If you know us at all, you know how we LOVE theology. It is almost beyond healthy. We parse everything. We expect you to do the same. It’s almost a handicap, but a handicap I nurture and feed and cuddle up to at night.

Why am I reminding you of this? Because of this:

Can you spot what's wrong with this sheet?

Saturday Morning Video: Shredding It

Saturday Morning Video: Shredding It from JudandKim on Vimeo.

Thank you Thursday: From Mother’s Day

With so many incredible people to thank each day for making mine that much better, I have decided that there is not a better place to proclaim my love for them than on the interwebs.

Our friend and wonderful photographer, Eve, took this photo of me with the kids for the Mother’s Day Montage at church. Although I clearly don’t know how to hide my gum when smiling I am sure that I will love this for years to come.

Thank you, Eve, for capturing this moment and to Sarah W for sending it to my inbox. You two together are keeping this website beautiful and I am so thankful for your artistic contributions to the CBC family. The beauty you are highlighting reflects your beauty too. I am so appreciative to receive the gift!

In the Thick of Things

Lo, I am away today and not available to write a successful post. I’ll give you all the 411 on the happenings of this week (did I get the additional screening groping? did they buy me dinner first?) just as soon as I can. In the meantime, check this out:

Blast from the 2004 past

AND THIS

I'm hanging out with this lady, but that little boy is at home still (and not very little anymore)

Thoughts from a Tuesday

I need to get my workout in. It’s 6:00 am and I have house guests. Let’s do this.

Can you smell this bad when the house guests get up?

Who needs to rehydrate with water? I’m using the real power aid. Coffee.

Piper taking a shower with me guarantees that Gideon will be quiet while he plays in the living room. I wonder if I can get that guarantee in writing.

House guests’ food allergies have nixed the yogurt parfaits from my plan. I had no back up plan. Next time.

Having people around to play with these kids while I get ready makes my life super easy. I should look into this for every day. Wait, a minute.

If I am selected for the extra security screening, should I choose to be violated by someone’s hands or photographically?

Am I smart enough use the iPad on a plane? Should I just read a book instead of listening to one? It is the same book.

I hope Piper doesn’t put up some kind of insane attitude while I’m away. She cultivates that thing like Jud does that little box of vegetables in the back yard. I am always pruning it back (Piper’s attitude, not the vegetables. I couldn’t tell you what is a weed and what we will eventually consume). Hopefully she has learned to prune herself a bit lately. Who am I kidding? She is two.

I’m gonna miss these munchkins.

On Loss and Pain

This morning I was lying in bed when I heard the phone ring. I was still lying in bed when Jud came in and told me that my grandfather Bragg had passed away. And I wept.

I didn’t know my grandfather the way some of my cousins did. I didn’t know him the way my kids know their Poppy. I didn’t know a lot of things about him, but I knew I loved him and that he loved me, even though it took him years to say those words instead of “Same-o, Same-o”.

I knew he was brave. I knew he was a hero. I knew he’d spent years of his life fighting back the forces of evil during WWII. He’d fought bravely from his B-26 Marauder. This interview is a helpful reminder of his experience, although his memory isn’t quite perfect (wish they’d have taped this about twenty years earlier) it is wonderful to have even these moments caught forever on film. He was never flashy about any of it. He never talked about being a hero or about the grand scheme of salvation that he participated in. He just talked about people – the men who fought with him, the ones who didn’t make it back and the ones who came to the reunions each year (and how they were wrong about this detail or that one, none of us really knowing who had any of it correctly locked into their mind).

I knew he loved his children – Mary, Clyde, Tom, Ann, David and Rick. You could hear how proud he was of them when he told you about the things they were up to – nursing in hospitals, earning degrees, serving in the military like he had.


I knew he loved their mother, but not because he told me. I knew the story of how he lost her to cancer when I was very young and how he nearly gave up living without her there to keep him going. I knew that the two of them had worked so very hard to make ends meet – the long hours, the time spent sacrificing, the stories about smelling of jell-o and the jokes about how we were buying certain cereals to keep his retirement money flowing. I knew about the big house in Greenwood, right next to the funeral home that I only faintly remember – a woven rug, a screened in porch, some cobwebs in a corner.

I knew he loved the woman I called Nana. She always looked so frail to me but she was feisty and fiery in a way I suspect my grandmother was not. I knew he respected her opinion and liked to get her riled up. I always loved how she would finish a conversation by proclaiming “That’s right!” and watching Grandad’s eyes twinkle when she did it.

I knew he loved ice cream and sharing it with the dogs. I knew he loved planting a big garden and I loved eating squash. I knew he was good with engines and cars and kind of figured he would die driving around in the “Ding-a-Ling” but figured he’d be happy to go that way. I knew he liked watching baseball and panning for gold, that fish that sang and repeating the same jokes he has since I was a child. <a

When I was in elementary school, maybe third grade or so, I started writing to him about spiritual things, asking him if he might be interested in placing his faith in Jesus Christ. He didn’t write back and he didn’t visit Hickory Ridge Congregational on Easter, like I had hoped he would. But I am sure that he would want you all to know this now; that eternal life isn’t something you earn by being good enough, not even by being a hero in this life. He’d want you to know that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Imagine if you had liver cancer and I offered to give you my good liver and take on your cancerous liver. I would die in your place and you would live. That’s what Jesus did when He died. He took on our sin and paid our penalty so that we could get His goodness.

Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us that we can be together with God in heaven forever if we trust in what Christ did for us. We don’t have to earn it at all, in fact, we can’t earn it. We get God’s grace only by believing in Him. Our sinfulness here on earth has disqualified us from being in the presence of Perfection and without Christ we have no reason to be pardoned for the wrong that we have done. But though Christ we can not only be freed from the guilt of sin but we also are credited with God’s goodness.

I know he’d want you to know too.

I hope that he knows how much we already miss him. I hope that he knows how much we loved him. And I hope.

Saturday Morning Video: Stuff We Love Right Now

Saturday Morning Video: Things We Like from JudandKim on Vimeo.

The Secret(s)

In case you didn’t notice, I have two children who are not yet school aged.  Two small children plus a house equals disasters.  Constant spills. Dumped bins of toys. Urine accidentally shooting out of toilets.  Fingers covered in marker that trace their little way up the white banister.  These are the marks of my home.

Years ago, when I used to babysit for people in THEIR homes (I rarely do this now, because I am not thirteen and I do not charge people to watch their children, but Heavens to Betsy those kiddos are going to mold into our schedule instead of me molding into a different one [otherwise known as my “Free Isn’t Flexible” plan]), I remember being particularly scheeved out about how sticky their high chairs were and how odd their cars smelled.  The basic tell-tail signs that children were living in a place made me feel queasy.  I almost never ate a meal while babysitting in someone’s home because I am neurotic like that.  I also avoided using their toilet and answering the telephone. There were exceptions to these rules (in homes that I deemed clean enough and of course, your house was one of those!  I am obviously not talking about you!), but not too many.

Now that I have one of those homes, I wonder how good of a job I am doing at keeping this place in order. I am sure there are things I am missing when I clean, the things you just don’t see because you see it all the time. I don’t always get the backs of their chairs wiped down after a meal or a snack.  I don’t mop more than once per week, unless the spills are milk and happen more than once during the day.  I don’t dust unless I have to.

And that is the secret — to make yourself HAVE TO.  We have a small group of people into our home at least once a week and it forces me to break out the Swiffer Dust wand, grab my Pledge MultiSurface (aka Magic) and get my clean on.  We aren’t meeting this week, which is perhaps why there is still paperwork scattered throughout the family room and the light switches are all smudgy.

BUT

I just booked babysitters for this weekend and I want them to feel free to eat here.  Time to bust out that mop.

The Event

So, the not-graduation preschool thing happened last night.  It was an evening filled with interesting costume choices ranging from sequined tank tops, leggings and four inch heels to camisoles (didn’t we used to consider these underwear at some point) and short shorts that revealed all the body art a Mama can (Side note: the children were all dressed tastefully, save the rub on tattoos.  Nice work, ‘rents!  At least appropriate translates into children’s clothing easier than yours).  There were inexplicable visors involved, but I’ll give you a pass, preschool teachers, because I am sure they were cheaper than mortarboards (right?  cheaper?).

Before I get too much into Joan Rivers’ skin, I’ll focus on the main event: my kid singing on a stage. Kind of.  He doesn’t get too into that sort of thing, aka Group Activities (seems appropriate to capitalize.  I don’t know why).  If everyone is doing one thing, he will probably just make a face that communicates his desire to crawl out of his own skin and be somewhere else, preferrably where these people are not.  What can I say? He is his father’s son.

Once he got off the stage and was able to come sit down with us, he told us about the CAKE! DOWNSTAIRS! CAKE! This was great news because if you are going to pretend to graduate four and five year olds from something, you better be as legit as possible. Nothing says legitimate like cake.

Here’s the proof it happened:

Hand motions = Conforming

Happy to Sing Along (Whoa. Who is this kid?)

Shaking Hands

Peanut Gallery