Archive for November, 2005

what?

grump. grump. grumpy.

i am so tired. soon i will change into my pajamas (out of my wide legged express pants, pink button-up shirt and black sweater with pointy-toed shoe combo that i had never worn to work before this day) and collapse into my wonderful, blanketed bed.

the dishes are not done.

the laundry, it is piling.

the suitcase, remains packed.

on monday after work, i made baked italian chicken, pierogies and peas. then i paid bills. this took all evening. i went to bed at ten thirty.

yesterday i went to super-target, bought eighty dollars worth of groceries. made pork tenderloin, potatoes au gratin and rolls for supper. then i cleaned the downstairs of our house. our neighbors had s’mores, or as some might call them “graham cracker delights”, around the fire pit. afterwards jud and i sat and talked with our friend jenn for a bit and after she left i went to bed. it was about ten-thirty-ish when i crawled into it.

now it is six in the evening and i am wiped. i did come home and make soup and sandwiches for dinner (despite the plan to make meatloaf and mac ‘n’ cheese…i just could not muster the strength needed to chop onions and crack an egg. The package says ‘use or freeze by Dec 2’ so it’s either tomorrow, friday or never for that pound of meat. have no fear, i will use or freeze by friday night).

i probably could have been doing laundry while watching oprah today. she had kirk franklin on to talk about the p word. i didn’t type it because i’d rather not have searches bring up this site when that word is included. anyway, it was good, but not as good as it could have or might have been. i think kirk probably had a lot more to say about his faith that either wasn’t said or didn’t make the air. either way, oprah is sad because she has a religiousity about her i.e. professing to listen to kirk franklin’s music while working out and saying things about people’s ‘spirit’ but not truly knowing God. so much power and so little depth. it’s just a pity to see her not have any anchor or any compass other than the latest book she read or the psychological ‘expert’ sitting on her show. kirk franklin said he has been p-free for 5 years, which is truly wonderful and all because of the grace of God. the topic always reminds me of don chafer lyrics that go like this…

“Underneath the mattress where he keeps his cash
Is a bunch of magazines he calls his secret stash
It’s a life that he ain’t never lived
But man he’d love to give them dice a roll

And every time he flinches while he’s flippin’ through the stack
He tells himself that anything that paper might lack
Is made up by the fact that
every woman there is under his control

All these promises of freedom
In the bondages of sin
I’m praying someone somewhere gently
will bring the sadness back in”

Also from Don…

“Paul kicks up trash on a dirty street.
A few pages dance away in the wind.
They cause a deep breath and a lusty sigh
when he compares them to his Rosalind.

Early on Roz was a sight to behold,
and she always made him feel like a man,
But Paul thinks time’s been cruel to her form
the way the ocean wears away at the sand.

His perfection is a neon light.
It stains his flashing eye.
And the after-image in his head at night
is nothing but a lie.”

I know posting song lyrics on your blog is something twelve year olds do and i know that it makes me incredibly uncool or unoriginal (although posting original poetry makes one neither original or cool, so it looks like all lyrical items should be removed from the blogging public immediately), but i’m doing it right now and you’re just going to have to stop reading the things i put here because you didn’t even read those lyrics anyway. you skimmed them like they didn’t mean something or because they weren’t that important, but i wouldn’t have gone all the way over to waterdeep.com if i didn’t want you to read them, so go back up and actually read them or stop reading the things i write all together. if you can’t read all of it, don’t read any of it at all. go away now. stop reading.

i told you i was grumpy.

Back in the Big D

Twelve hours and a few tornado warnings later, we pulled into the carport. Dallas to Omaha? 9.5 hours. Omaha to Dallas? 12 hours. There was rain and there were tons of cars and there was burning and there were these huge Christmas light things near Ardmore, OK. It was kind of a surreal trip. But, we’re back.

Here are highlights from our trip:

Tom, Jud, Justin and Adam at a hockey game on Saturday night

Maria, Kim, Rachel and Rebecca on Monday before dinner

Krystal and Allison having coffee with Kim on Thanksgiving Eve

Kim and Amber celebrating the Huskers handling of Colorado

While at home for Thanksgiving I spent a little time over on myspace. I looked up old classmates and people I knew from a long time ago and I laughed about stuff they wrote and said and were doing. I also found disturbing stuff that I never wanted to know about some of those people. It creeped me out. So, let me just say to you Internet “do not write things about yourself and your freaky life that will make others believe you are nasty, dumb or ridiculous. they are not interesting. those stories are not even entertaining. they are something you may not even tell people who already know you unless you don’t mind them not liking you after they know. so, please, Internet, keep your secrets away.”

On a much lighter note, I had been dreading the back to work today. the back to driving. the back to cube-living. the back to real-life. and it wasn’t so bad. not so bad driving. not so bad cube world, though still very quiet and grey. like a goose. mmmmm. i got there early and left there on time and all worked as it should.

while VO (which in my world means Virtual Office) i started to wonder if people in house were sending me hate through the email and the phone calls only because they were not punctuating things with exclamation points!!! and smiley faces 😛 and I thought maybe they wouldn’t want me back or want to have to deal with my stupid comments or lame humor. you know, the sort of neurotic things a junior higher panics over after winter break, these were haunting me on both saturday and sunday nights. but, the truth is, just like in junior high, that no one is hating you. no one is meaning anything by placing periods. at. the. end. because that is just what you do when you use normal puncutation. The truth is that no one is even noticing you. And that is both good and bad. I went to a place to visit where people noticed me in the hallway and where they noticed my voice when I answered my old work phone. and i miss being known. even if it was to some extenet a superficial knowing. this is of course why I won’t make some grandious career out of my current job. it is specifically designed to keep one from knowing me. it is designed to keep business moving and others to be known. i am glad to help, but doubt i have much staying power for such a menial thing.

all of this to say,
i miss you old home (and people)
and
i’m thankful for you new home (and friends)


This post is for those of you who we havent seen in the past 72 or so hours. Kim and I arrived in Omaha Friday night after driving from Dallas. We made the whole trip in a little over 9 hours so we’re pretty happy that it didnt take longer. Sunday we had our Thanksgiving service at church. It was a really wonderful time to be with so many people who are so important to us. We’ve missed everyone greatly. I really wish we could just drive to Omaha for church each Sunday. But since that isnt possible, we’ll keep praying that we find a church that we can be part of in Dallas for the next 3.5 years. There is so much more that I can write about. This time here has been non-stop visiting, meals together, and not having time for homework…

Thursday we’ll hopefully have full house as we enjoy thanksgiving together. We pray that everyone that reads this silly blog will have a wonderful holiday and will have many things to be thankful for. This visit has been clear evidence to us of the Lord’s providence and involvement in our lives. The fact that both Kim and I can have jobs that will allow us such locational flexibility and meet our needs so well is evidence enough that we’re doing what we should be doing as hard as it is to some times do it. Let all things praise the Lord.

“the Lord has done great things for us, and we are glad.” – Psalm 126:3

Getting Right to the Heart of Matters

The counting down and waiting is over (okay, so it’s been over since Friday night around 11:30pm). We are in Omaha and it feels wonderful.

The drive was completely uneventful, which was great. I drove about eight hours of it mostly because I was the one bouncing off the car interior about how we were getting closer and closer to home!!! Around Plattsmouth, I was dying to speed our little Alero as fast as it could go but knew those Plattsmouth cops would totally bust me, so I contained myself. When we hit Bellevue, my eyes teared up and I just couldn’t believe that we were finally home. It felt so good. We pulled up to mom and dad’s place and they ran upstairs to hug us and the dogs licked everything and did not pee, which was amazing. Adam was here too and we all talked for a while and then went to bed.

Saturday we set up for the Thanksgiving Dinner at church and I got to see baby Chloe for the first time (she is adorable) and play with Sophia (who is growing up way too fast). Saturday night Allison came over (hooray!) as did my brother and sister-in-law. We ate mom’s lasagna (a favorite) and I baked a pie for the next day.

Sunday was overwhelming. So many people. So many hugs. So many times to say that school is good and work is good and finding a new church family is terrible. We got to see lots of people, though not everyone was there. We hung out with Sam & Tawnya that night after taking GIGANTIC naps. I had one of those strange wake ups where I thought it was the next morning. I did that once in college. I laid down to nap before supper and when I woke up it was 8:30 and I thought my class was starting but it turned out to be 8:30 pm and I did not find that out until I was dressed, shoed, coated and backpacked, walking down the hall and saw people that should’ve been in the class coming into the hall. A short conversation revealed that I was dillusional.

So today I am working from home and liking it quite a bit. I have more to do and will do it now, but it is quite nice to work in pajamas!!

Quick Post

I just thought I’d put a quick post up here, this week is supposed to be a bit of a repreive from the rest of the semester, however its been super busy so far – much busier than if I were to have had classes. This past weekend as many of you know, three of our friends visited us. It was a weekend full of catching up, stories, and staying up way too late. In fact, it took me until about Tuesday to start feeling normal again. Sleep depraviation has a tendency to cause me to get really edgy and occasionally nonsensical. Anyway, before I experience more of that deprevation I better show you some pictures and go to bed.
Friday evening we enjoyed a nice Tex-Mex meal at a place called Matt’s which is within walking distance of our place. I’m a pretty big fan of their salsa and they also have nice outdoor area.

Kim, Krytal, & Sarah (from left to right)We took Krystal by a small private school where she attended High School for a couple years, you should ask her about it sometime… While we were seeing Krystal’s old school we were surprised to see some sort of strange southern pioneer world across the street. It was complete with women in bonnets with long dresses and confederate soldiers with muskets. In addition they had a small farm/zoo complete with a donkey, cow, and a bunch of sheep who ate anything I fed them. The sheep on the right side of the picture ate at least 20 acorns I fed him from the ground. This we really strange considering this whole thing was right next to downtown Dallas.

Waiting

I’m very excited and happy because RIGHT THIS MINUTE, Tom, Krystal and Sarah are driving to see me! Me! ME! YEAH! Oh, maybe they are coming to see Jud too. Right. But, anyway, I am so very excited and can hardly concentrate at all. I had to listen to music all day just so that I could focus a little and stop my head from thinking thoughts other than those that belong to work.

In other news of things that distract me from accomplishing goals, in one week and a day, I will be leaving this hole, that others call Texas, and heading North to see you all and it is only one week, one day until we start the trip. HOORAY!

During my half hour lunch (I usually only take 15 minutes so that I can leave earlier, but the other day my boss told her boss that I don’t take a lunch — even though my boss sees my time cards where I clock out for 15 minutes, but whatever — and then like every day since that day my boss’s boss sees me eating my lunch for about two seconds as she walks past and I wonder if she thinks me to be untruthful) I had the best time talking with two friends from work. I think of them as friend and I think they think of me as a friend, but when they were talking about something and I said that they should’ve called me they both got funny and loud about how they didn’t have my number. I then forgot to give them my number when I got back to my desk because that is how I am. I forget stuff that I mean to remember all the time. I am foolish. Anyway, it made me feel so great that they wanted my number and then I started thinking about how things change when you get older or maybe when you get married. And then I changed my thought. It’s not an age thing, it’s an isolation thing. You and me and all of the rest of us in our apartments and homes watching our tvs and having our snacks before bed and some of us are lonely. I am not completely lonely because I have Jud and he is wonderful, but I’ve left all of you in Omaha and in Syracuse and in Amarillo and in Annapolis and in New York City and in all sorts of places that are not here and I need you. I miss you.

I’m so glad some friends are coming today and I’m glad too that I’m making new friends. Funny friends with lots of funny stories and plenty of laughter. You’d like them. I know.

It finally came

I got to apply for my job today. For those who are confused, I technically work for a staffing agency (something I did NOT understand about the job before I took it because they used ridiculous euphemisms like “Contractor” and the like, to avoid saying “Temp Job”). Anyway, I guess they really do like me and want me to keep doing what I’m doing because they went through a lot of paperwork and phone calls and emails to make my job a permanent one, and people, that means benefits. Benefits for me. Benefits for Jud. Benefits for you (aka no more listening to me complain about the benefits I pay for. Out of my pocket. After taxes. Through my nose.).

So, I applied and am hoping that I am the most qualified candidate. There is another person at work who I believe may be upset by this turn of events for a few reasons. She tried to rain on my little parade (that didn’t really go anywhere, except maybe side to side in my little swivel office chair). I’m sure she’s just wishing that they would make her job permanent too and I wish that for her as well, but I do not want to stop my party wagon to sit by the side of Temp Job Row. It is a sad little row to sit on and I’ve been sitting there since August. It’s time for me to move on. And, I’m moving on.

Here is my home for eight hours a day.

It is a nice home with gray walls and friendly people and even the Schwann man visits. He came today and I bought some delicious pork egg rolls (thanks to Scott & Gaye for buying Schwann egg rolls way back in the day — 93? or 95?). So after I went to the store tonight, I made fried rice and heated up the egg rolls and let me tell you, we ate well. Thank you Schwann man…where ever you are.