S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

Nebraska just won. Whew. The games aren’t pretty, but we’re getting the job done, eh? I really like that new QB, but his team could stand to catch a few of the balls he throws them. Not that I should be posting things about football. I’ll leave that to my husband who knows all the right terms and things.

I should start with last night. I pre-made as much as I could for the brunch – muffins, cut some fruit, mixed the eggs together, etcetera. I didn’t really think this would take much. Two hours? But then, I also ironed the linens for the table, the napkins too. I set the table so it would be all together for today. And I started to reach melt-down level. Not because of the heat, though it was warm. Not because of the impending nature of hosting people we only sort of know and with whom we hope to make excellent conversation. No, it was because it took FOREVER. The mixing and baking and mixing and cleaning and cutting and preparation took twice as long as it should’ve. I blame the lack of counter space and the fact that I have no dishwasher.

Currently I’m reading Nick Hornby’s “How to be Good.” I love his stuff. I’m guessing any of you who know me well know that I am in love with “About a Boy.” I don’t like this one as much, but it’s very much a good read. Not that I’m endorsing it, for all of you who are offended by language or coarseness, of which there is not an overwhelming amount, but enough to make fourteen-year-old church goers wonder if I am a Christian for liking something so debased. Anyway, the book has a Healer (you know the kind…hippie, poor, dirty) and he doesn’t believe in using dishwashers. He moves in with the narrator (not in a sordid way) and proclaims that he will not use a dishwasher until everyone has one because he doesn’t think it’s right that rich Londoners have when others have not. I am one of those have-nots and I am both grateful for this hippie’s stand and outraged that he wouldn’t use it. I’ll tell you that as soon as I have one, I will not hold out until you also have one (although, I’m guessing you already do. you do, don’t you? DON’T YOU?!).

So, this morning after going to bed close to 1am (due to the dishes and preparing and all) I get out of bed at 7 and prepare for a women’s thing. It was banal. I nodded off. I will not join, for reasons other than boredom. Reasons more like these:
1. Should I join the ‘small group’ women’s deal, it will preclude my involvement in a church women’s ministry and isn’t that the point? why get together with “seminary wives” simply because we are all “married to seminary students”. Why get together and bemoan our fate of cloistered husbands? Why not go minister to women who are dealing with things other than “I don’t get to see my wonderful, godly husband” and “my needs are being met” and “pay attention to me. me. me.” These are not the things women should get together and “share” or “pray for”. These are things that should not be allowed to bloom. Die to self, woman! Die to self!
2. The program for self study means you read 16 books (in four years) and write a one page report on each. I could not imagine this. It is beyond me. Should I be outside of myself and surrounded by small children and a person who required external motivation or who even responds to external motivation, I might find this quaint or wonderful. I find it trite and mocking. This is because I read. I read quite a lot, actually and I certainly don’t need someone to motivate me to read sixteen books. Good night, I’ve read more than that since we’ve moved here a little over a month ago. Granted, they weren’t necessarily theologically based, but when Jud says “this book is really good”, I’ll read that one. When Jud says, this book is dry, but worthwhile, I’ll read that one (probably slowly, but I’ll get it done). But to have some bizarre program involving no real work and the adult equivalent of gold stars and happy faces? No thank you. I stopped memorizing scripture for Lisa Frank notebooks in 5th grade.
3. The decorations were appalling. Purple, silver, pink and red. All in full glory. It hurt to see it all. Poor font choices. Poor “brochures” though I use it loosely. (I realize this is not a real reason. I realize that this reveals an ugly part of myself that is snobbish and rude. Though you should know I didn’t say these things out loud to anyone but Jud, and you will keep my secret, right Internet? Yes. I am a snob. A women’s ministries snob. I can’t help it. I’ve been spoiled.)

Okay, so after sitting through 2 1/2 hours of this, I finally got to leave and go prepare my home for the brunch (which was rescheduled to 1pm in order to accommodate the women’s ministries event and a GES thing that Jud went to where JB Bond and Bob Wilkin were). The meal went really well, although one attendee was a vegetarian, I was glad to have the egg casserole and the fruit because I don’t think she eats white flour either. I love this woman. She is very sweet, beautiful and great at conversation and I certainly don’t want to sound like I don’t like her as a human being, because that isn’t the case. But I must say that it seems like more and more people in my life have food allergies, life choices and aversions to things that 10 years ago no one but burnt out Californians cared about. Of course, these people would argue that’s why the cancer rate has sky rocketed and why I will die from my body loosing feeling — because of all the petroleum in my lotion. Yes. That must be it. Petroleum.

Actually, my too cute for words doctor, whose husband does play by play announcing for Texas Tech (he’s headed to Lincoln in a few weeks and she was telling me about how he said there is nothing quite like being in Lincoln on a Saturday in the fall), has set up an MRI or MRA or both to look at my brain and see if I’ve had a TIA or if I have MS. WebMD, you were right! Though, my doctor says she doubts either of these and there is probably absolutely no way of diagnosing this and despite the fact that it wasn’t the very first episode, it’s probably just a fluke. I’d much rather live in that world than the one where I’m getting tested for MS. Those letters are awfully scary when placed side by side and capitalized. I totally doubt it anyway (although when looking at my photo id badge for work before I left for this appointment, I was sure I could see my left side drooping. The more I looked, the more evidence I saw of a stroke. While driving I realized that the picture was taken a full week before the episode. So, as it turns out, the left side of my face has always drooped. What I should really be hoping for is a mini-stroke for the left side of my brain so that my right side will droop proportionately to the natural droop on the left.)

Goodness this post got long. I’ll stop. Because Nick Hornby wants me to come read some more and I always do what he says.


What I Meant to Post on Thursday Night

My work is going well. I don’t have much stress from it and it’s very routine. Print this. Send this in the mail. Decline or Approve these. It’s pretty straight forward and my boss is over the top nice, so she never gets frustrated when I ask for clarification. It’s really been working out well. I work 7-3 with no lunch and beat all the traffic, working out at 24-Hour Fitness at 5:15 AM and being home to fix Jud supper before his night classes three nights/week.

We still don’t have a church. Shop. Shop. Shop. Which means too that we don’t really have any friends either. We met some people at one of the churches who we really like and I invited them and a few neighbors over for brunch on Saturday. So far, I don’t have any confirmations yet, but I do have a fridge full of things just waiting to be prepared. Lots of fruit, eggs for Grandma Tschetter’s casserole, ham & cheese bundle fixings, smoothie requirements and fresh blueberries for muffins. It should be quite the spread because I don’t know how to entertain without gobs of food. You should drive down! I’m sure there will be plenty :-).

I’m spending plenty of time reading, trying to encourage Jud to stay away from the TV. It makes me extra tired and I’m usually in bed around 9pm, cuddling up to my husband as he reads/studies and tries to pretend like I’m not bothering him. Right now though, he’s watching the first NFL game of the season because he just got home from his night class, has the munchies and is avoiding his homework like I avoid the dishes. Although, I’m getting used to doing them all by hand. Tonight I went to Super Target and bought that dish soap with bleach in it. I’ve had a sneaking suspicion that all my dishes have little mites or fungi or something since they don’t get seared by the dishwasher anymore. Now the bleach will get them for sure!

I have an appointment tomorrow because last Saturday I suffered all the symptoms of a mini-stroke. AWESOME! I probably should’ve gone to the ER or emergicare or something, but it’s so dang expensive and they probably would just tell me to see a family practice guy later anyway. I’ll keep you posted on what exactly caused my left side to go numb, my vision to blur, the headache immediately following those things and the fact that I slept for almost the entire day thereafter. Pretending like all of those things don’t mean anything is much better than reading WebMD and freaking myself out….hmm, it’s either a TIA or MS? Which fun acronym-istic disease do I really have? When really it will be something like this
Doctor: “So do you usually drink a lot of caffeine?”
Kim: Like one can of pop and a cup of coffee every day.
Doctor: “And you didn’t have any on this day?”
Kim: Right. So what you’re saying is I should hit Starbucks more often.
Doctor: “Basically.”
Kim: Thanks doc. Is there a scrip for that?

Wake Forest vs. Nebraska vs. Nebraska

I was eating my lunch today and watching the Catholic channel for some reason. I guess because I’m tired about hearing this and that about Hurricane damage and how we should blame so and so for this and that. Anyway, I was eating and after they finished talking about some stuff and doing a couple hail mary’s they showed this Nick Cannon video. I was really surprised by how powerful this video was, so much so that I included a link for it on the bottom of this post.

Things are piling up quickly for me here. Mostly with school stuff but some with my work for Orion too. The most difficult thing is the seperation of my work for Orion and then my work for DTS. Even though its extremely nice to work from home, I think man was meant to work outside his home. I’m getting pumped up again for another week of Husker football that will be televised. Hopefully everyone can play up a few notches from last week and stop shooting ourselves in the foot.

Wake Forest 22, Nebraska, 31

If the link below will not work for you, go to http://www.nickcannonmusic.com and it should have it there.

I hope everyone is doing well. – Jud

nick cannon video
Posted by Picasa

Nebraska vs. Maine

Well, Nebraska didnt play quite as well as I had hoped but at least they got a win out of it. Kim and I were fortunate enough to catch the game at a sports bar with about 350 other Husker fans. The place had a definate game-day feel to it and it made us feel quite at home as about half the people there were from Omaha.

We tried another church yesterday and liked it less than the church we just decided not to go back to, so I guess we’ll keep looking again next week. Today is Labor Day and I think it will be filled with its share of labor as I have a lot of homework to get done. I hope that everyone else will have a nice day filled with grilling, potatoe salad, and not working. – Jud Posted by Picasa

Kim’s going to be Published

Well, sort of.

Here’s a part of the email I got from Cara at Relevant.

Hi! Just wanted to let you know your quote (about getting married on memorial day) was selected to appear in a book we’re publishing next spring called Cheap Ways to Tie the Knot! We are peppering the book with little insightful quotes from readers who shared their insight into planning different aspects of the wedding for cheap. It will add some visual interest and give the reader a sense that they’re not the only ones who are trying to save $$ on the wedding.

So, that was a nice surprise. It’s not big deal, really, but of course, it is nice to see that someone thought my thoughts would make a nice addition to their book. Thanks for the pat, relevant.

I know my posts have been sort of, um, negative, but I think I may have turned a corner on my attitude last night. It was like a switch tripped while I was driving back home after Jud and I went to a Shabbat service and Lori Chafer was singing about how God heals her wounds and kisses her scars while she was in Muncie Indiana and that was it. I felt calm and at home and able to let all of the air out of my lungs for the first time in a month. Maybe it had something to do with football starting again. Nothing like looking forward to a Husker game to make me feel like myself again.

Jud is doing homework right now — Greek stuff. It’s nice to hear his words tumble out like half baked cakes. He’s kind of mumbling and saying half the word as he breathes. It reminds me of the year 2000 and all the vocab I once knew from 1 John. I’m glad he remembers so much from when he learned all of this before.

Work is going well. I’m getting to know people that work around me and I’m enjoying their quirks and jabs and all. Since I got there the entire company has been hit by viruses and we’ve had surges that have taken out servers and monitors and all sorts of technological problems for which I am taking the blame. Every once in a while, when some other mini-tragedy occurs, someone will shout out “This is all Kim’s fault”. To which I reply “That’s right. Aren’t you glad I’m here?” And people laugh. It’s not real humor. It’s office humor. The kind where no one would actually laugh if it happened anywhere else, but the cubicles must put off some sort of toxin that gets in your head and makes things seem amusing that aren’t. I suppose I’m equally guiltly for perpetuating that which isn’t funny, but I feel like a 7th grader trying to make friends with the freshman. I have thoughts like “maybe I should make some cheese ball and bring it in for everyone” and “i should make mini cakes this weekend, decorate them and leave one on everyone’s desk that I’m getting to know. This would be 10 cakes. TEN. I always knew I thought food was the answer to everything, but these thoughts are haunting me. “Should I make those mexican roll ups or a few pans of enchiladas?” None of this will probably ever happen, which is probably good because I’m pretty sure it reveals a part of myself I should keep quiet at work.

I’d better go get cleaned up so that I can hit the library before it closes and then we are off to meet up with the North Texans for Nebraska crowd. I painted my toe nails Husker red in honor of the game (and probably, to make people like me without necessary using food “oh, look at her pretty toe nails. I should really be her friend”).


The Swing of Things

well I’ve now attended all of my fall classes except one that I have later this evening. Its been a really interesting time of getting settled back in to homework and etc, but I think that I’ll do all right. Yesterday morning was basically a non-stop highlight real. It started with a my Intro to Theology class which covers a lot of prolegomena, philosophy, and dispensationalism. This was followed by Howard Hendricks’ Bible Study Methods and Hermeneutics class. I knew that Hendricks is an amazing man but I don’t think that had the slightest clue what I was in for. Hendricks brings no books to class besides his Bible. I think that at one point he said that this is his 54th year teaching this class at DTS. From the second that people got into the room he was rolling with facts about this and that, all of which were noteworthy and are probably published on one of his books somewhere. So to follow up Hendricks I had Chuck Swindoll in chapel, who is probably one of the most gifted expositers of our day. It was a great time to be encouraged and challenged. So, at this point, the only thing that makes it feel like school to me is the incredible amount of work I have to do. All the rest is pretty amazing.

This week has been quite a bit cooler here in Dallas as well. I think that yesterday was probably the warmest we’ve had (which was still 99 degrees) in a while. Everyone here says that things get better when September comes, so far its looking that way.

On another note, I am unbelievably pumped for Saturday night when Husker football starts. Kim and I found a club that we’re joining called North Texans for Nebraska and they’re getting the pay-per-view game. I guess some times they make runzas and have valentinos pizza at their game parties too. How they get the valentinos, I have no idea.

Maine 6, Nebraska 45

– Jud Posted by Picasa

Chicken Rubs and New Neighbors

Heute ist Samstag, der sieben und zwanzigsten August.
Today is Saturday, the twenty seventh of August.

We had a friend’s family stay with us last night and then they were off around noonish today. I made a rub for Jud’s chicken legs and he grilled them on our little camping grill that he sets up on the front porch. It’s funny how grilling brings people together, even when the grill is ity-bity.

Jud met the neighbor right next door, Michael. He has a figurine of the Alien from the Alien movies in his kitchen window and usually keeps to himself. He has dark hair that is kind of spiky and in general reminded me of my brother, so now it is ironic that he has the same name. Jud also met one of the girls who go to DTS that live in our building. She was wearing a Backpacker magazine shirt and seemed in general to be the kind of person we’d hang out with. She lives with another girl who is also starting at DTS.

Tomorrow is Sunday again. The day that used to both fill me with expectation and usually a bit of stress. Now they are marked by neither. I have no excitement to see people who I love because I don’t see them anymore and I have no stress because nothing is expected of me. Four weeks have passed since I last walked through the doors of CBC and I can’t tell you how much I miss my family. All day I’ve thought about the kids and how excited they must be to be preparing for the musical tonight. I cried when I thought about Austin singing and doing choreography on the stage and not being able to hug him and tell him how proud I am of him. I’m sure the whole thing will go well, especially since they have been rehearsing so hard and for so long. I’ll bet that Overkamp kid knocks the socks off everyone with his rap. He’s a natural. Hopefully we’ll get a copy of the performance to watch.

I haven’t felt well today… numbness on my left side, headache on the right, splotchy vision and super tired. It’s happened before, usually when I’m crazy stressed, but I didn’t think I was feeling incredibly stressed out today. There is a general feeling of not completely letting all of the air out of my lungs when I breathe that reminds me of my nervousness about life that I bury out of sight. Everyone says things like ‘it’s all going to be fine’ but really, we all know that there’s no guarantee of that. Things aren’t always fine because bad things happen every day and we’re not given any assurances about anything. Maybe that’s freeing to some people. You don’t have to worry about any of it because you’re not in control anyway, so why expend any energy over that which you can’t dictate. But for those of us who suffer from the Type-A desires to keep our desks neatly organized, our furniture in place and our lives running on wonderful little clocks, it’s nerve racking. Maybe all those little whispers in the back of my skull that I keep trying to silence are demanding I pay attention by numbing my arm and face. “Hey, can you hear us? We are scared and we are uncertain of what to do here. PAY ATTENTION TO US! WE DESERVE SOME ATTENTION!!” I would pay attention, but it would make the fears real and give power to the thought of not being in control, something I just can’t admit to yet. Maybe tomorrow.