How on Earth

So yesterday was one of those days when I should have stayed in a padded cell for the duration of the sun shining.  Let me tell you.

After showering and dressing and getting Gideon up from his nap, I still had to dry my hair.  If you don’t have curly hair (and aren’t Rebecca, who has magic curly hair) you have to use both tons of product and plenty of heat to make sure that you look presentable, and even then a sacrifice to the hair gods may be required to insure pretty bouncy curls instead of strangled, drown rat matted tangles. I only have about a fifteen minute window from finishing my shower to getting hair that looks okay, so I usually don’t mess around with drying it.  I get the job done. And that’s what I did yesterday.  

Applied product.

Affixed diffuser.

Blow dried hair.

Turned the drier on cool to blow air at Gideon.

Finished blow drying. 

Washed hands to get rid of sticky product.

Unplugged hair dryer.

Did you see the step I missed? It’s an important one that you might want to include.  It’s DRY YOUR HANDS.  Also important: DO NOT TOUCH PRONGS WHILE UNPLUGGING.

I’ve never been shocked before, so this was, um, shocking.  Tingling pain radiated up my arm, into my neck and down my spine. I blew the circuit breaker and sat down. 

Then I called people to regale them with my story of electrocution and make sure that mah brains were workin.  Turns out yes, I could form sentences and in all likelihood have more brain capacity now then before.  My arm muscles, however, felt like I’d done some serious forearm work.  

This alone would probably not constitute reason enough to be kept from the public.  But, my clumsiness continued when I went up to church to work on some slides for the Sunday services.  Having to wait for the projectors to cool down, I sauntered downstairs to observe the preparations for an upcoming wedding. While shooting the breeze, I casually leaned on a table.  When I removed my weight from the table, a giant beautiful vase crashed to the floor, nearly hitting the bride’s leg.  

Thank goodness she was spared or I would forever be known as the woman who not only destroyed the symmetry of the table decorations but who also lacerated the bride.  Not exactly a title I desire.

After cleaning up the shards of glass, vacuuming the floor and posing for a picture to remember the event, I went home and shrouded myself in bubble wrap.

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    • kenzandkev
    • July 11th, 2008

    It’s days like those that make me think the biggest danger to my children is myself. When I’m feeling clumsy I tell Bernie he needs to take the day off work so I don’t put the kids in harm’s way but he hasn’t bit yet.

  1. It’s amazing

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