This post is not a big deal

So, um, I’ve sort of told some of you about this and some of you I didn’t and then it’s hard for me to keep track of who knows what and so I thought I’d just tell you all very quickly and nonchalantly and hope that you won’t feel the need to ask me a lot of questions because the answers, they are too, um, female, if you catch my drift.

A few weeks back I had a checkup. I hadn’t received the “all clear” back from my doctor, so I’d left a couple of messages to ask for the results of the test. I finally got a hold of someone last Friday. She had the doctor call me back and she, the cute as a button, never wanting to give bad news, shiny haired doctor that I pretend is a Sephora counter girl, gave me some bad news. She recommended a specialist, her specialist to be exact. She told me to make the appointment for somewhere in the next two weeks.

I called that day.

Specialist Doctor’s office was all “we can see you on Monday” and I agreed, somewhat in a haze. I drove home and told Jud that I had an appointment on Monday to do some cancer screenings and that I’d prefer if he came along. He came along.

SD told us that I should not wait to have a procedure done to remove all traces of the wayward cells, even if they were not cancer and to call the next day because that lab, it is quick. I called on Tuesday at 1pm and they were not THAT fast, but the woman said the note in my file says to schedule the removal deal soon. She asked if I was busy on Wednesday.

I was not. So that’s what we did yesterday. Jud went back with me to the SD and held my hand and the SD shot some crazy local anesthetic into my blood stream and for a split second I knew what it was like to do crack or maybe just meth, but either way, all my senses were on overload and it was as if I knew the meaning of life (okay, so maybe that part has been true for a while. I know why we’re here. You can know too. I’ll tell you about it sometime, at least sometime before we the Xupharians come in their stealth machines to take me away). Then the SD told me to breath, so I did. The nurse told me to breath slowly, so I did. The procedure itself was very quick and had no pain, given that whole localized injection bit and we will get the ‘all clear’ probably by tomorrow afternoon.

I’d freaked myself out by reading on WebMD about all of the different things that could possibly go wrong and also that the recovery time is usually 1-3 days. Puhleeze! I went back to work today. I’ve only had two times when I thought someone was stabbing me and realized I’d better take a few pain meds. Other than that, I think people just like to be dramatic with that whole 3 days of recovery time thing.

So, there you have it. Not much detail, but possibly too much considering that I made you walk through this without an ending….will the test results tomorrow be okay? Will the doctor call and demand she return to have her body amputated? Will she somehow milk more back rubs out of her husband? Probably, not so much and you can be sure.

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    • brandon
    • August 4th, 2006

    I wish you well Kim. You and Jud are in our prayers. I don’t know if I told you both, but I had a spot of malignant melanoma removed in January from my very balding head. The upside…I get to wear some very cool hats now and people can’t mock me (or at least I can make them feel guilty very quickly if they do.

    • Kim
    • August 4th, 2006

    Isn’t it odd how young we all are and yet the cold hands of cancer still seem to be grabbing at our ankles? I blame pizza rolls, Nintendo and Avon’s Skin-so-Soft.

    Do you read Dooce (She just recently had some non-melanoma skin cancer removed)? Her new masthead for August is up and reflects her recent life development. Thought you might enjoy it too.

    And, I do think Jud mentioned the skin cancer, but I don’t think he said it was melanoma, which is the most alarming of the skin cancer words. I don’t know that comments on blogs are the right place for me to ask questions like “did you have to get chemo for that?” and “are you okay now, or is this still an ongoing situation?”, but I will say that Jud and I will pray for you and the missus too.

    • brandon
    • August 10th, 2006

    Oh, don’t blame Nintendo! I still play it, and can’t for the new one to come out (It’s called the Wii). I blame balding, much easier.

    I don’t know whom Dooce is. Hit me up with a link!

    I think anything is almost game on blogs these days. It’s pretty wild the stuff some people discuss, so I think chemo is ok. I didn’t have to do chemo. They just took a really big razor blade and sliced off a pretty big area on the top of my head. It’s ok now, but as the doc said, “We now know your body makes cancer, so you must be especially dilligent in protecting yourself from the sun.” And I assume other cancer causing things as well. But that’s ok, at least now I have something forcing me into a more organic lifestyle, which I’ve always strived for anyway.

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